A little prose goes a long way

I think that there is the great misconception of burning man as a giant drug induced orgy. I mean, don’t get wrong there is a presence of both at the burn, but as you read this someone in your hometown is getting high or getting fucked; neither of which is a bad thing. The party aspect of burning man is one of the elements, but alone it could not stand. On my first post talking about the enigmatic shift I have been feeling since the burn, I talk about how the most amazing thing for me was the people.

Time Flies When You’re Slowly Healing

It’s been seven months since my last chemo injection and six months since the doctors told me I was cancer free. It’s been about five months since I started working out again and just about four since I started going out again. It has been a rocky road, littered with trash and confusion, but there has also been amazing views, twists and turns that brought me places I never would have thought I would be. If life were academia, i’d feel like after this year I would have earned my doctorate, because in these short months I have learned more about myself, love, life and the things that really matter than in the entirety of the 28 years that preceded it. 

You think you know…

Perception is a powerful thing; honestly it is more powerful than realty. We each have different filters that shade and color the world to our interpretation. When we think we have understood something via our perception, it becomes the realty to us.

Life After Cancer

I didn’t realize that in the aftermath of the destruction, I would have to find it in myself to rebuild. I look around as I sit in the ruins trying to figure out what my next step is. I have no spouse and children to return to, no fabulous career to rock, no given trajectory that requires my full unbiased attention – instead I stand among the stones that supported my former life with no understanding of how to put them back into place. Maybe it is the free spirit aspect of my personalty or maybe its the commitment-phobe that lives inside, but either way the path ahead is marred by fog and invisibility.

Happy or Die

An ex of mine called me to say ‘you lead a sad life and I think that is why you have cancer.’

The power of what you say

What is it that you choose to say? Groom your dialogue and carefully pull together the words to construct your point of view. Take a deep breath and prepare for the things that we could never truly be prepared for; speak. Each word you are about to use will have power, will dictate how you are perceived, will reveal a facet of your personality and it will help to demonstrate which side of positivity you are on. 

Cancer is boring

I am just so tired of talking about cancer. I find myself laced with boredom as I routinely go through the collection of key words to help describe my current plight. I am over talking about the way I feel, or trying to appear smarter and stronger than I had before the diagnosis. Like an obsolete album stuck on repeat, I find myself to be annoying, tedious and approaching the brink of being unbearable. 

Yes, I am vain.

I am starting to become more aware. Part of being aware is looking at your fears dead on and becoming one with them. It’s not about facing or conquering the fear, it’s about getting comfortable with it so that it no longer holds it power. Words on this scale cannot measure to the practicality of one doing it. Our fears range on an unending scale, so they can not be measured or compared, but instead we should take small steps to meet them.

Fragile: Handle With Care

Dear Universe,